What do we say to the god of death?
Persephone: knock knock
Hades: who's there?
Persephone: it's September hope you're ready to bang like a screen door in a hurricane

liamdryden:

my 8 year-old brother just came into my room with the roman numeral for 9 written on a page, and asked me how to turn it into a 6

not getting what he meant I wrote VI on the page and he was like “nope” and wrote an S next to the IX and jesus christ I can’t believe I just got so owned 

pleatedjeans:

Please go follow @skullmandible

if countries were students
Australia: The class clown who makes everyone laugh
America: The jock who loves themselves and everyone secretly hates
Canada: The nice person who offers to show you around on your first day
England: The hot boy everybody wants to bang because he's a gentlemen
New Zealand: Australia's little brother who is the only one who thinks Australia sucks
The Netherlands: That high kid in the back that everyone just ignores
France: The romantic playboy who hangs around England too much
China: The overly smart kid who puts his hand up for every question
Russia: The scary large kid that nobody talks to because they'll probably get stabbed

trustnocabbie:

memewhore:

These people have no concept of even the most basic physics.

I AM CRYING MY SISTER THINKS IM INSANE

(Source: baelor)

thelandofmaps:

Obese & Overweight Adults: Change 1980 to 2013 Both Sexes [1796×898]
CLICK HERE FOR MORE MAPS!
thelandofmaps.tumblr.com

He told me to call him ‘daddy’, but then I started crying because my dad’s dead, and he had no idea why I started crying in the middle of it. We haven’t talked in two days.

owlturdcomix:

The one constant.

bradyfitzy:

 

This website is the reason I live

youdtearthiscanvasskinapart:

youdtearthiscanvasskinapart:

EVEN IF A GIRL IS EMOTIONAL BECAUSE SHES “ON HER PERIOD” DOESNT MEAN ITS A GOOD IDEA TO CALL HER OUT ON IT CAUSE LEMME TELL YOU WHEN IM OPENLY BLEEDING I HAVE ENOUGH RAGE AND APPETITE TO EAT MY WEIGHT IN CHOCOLATE AND I CAN PROBABLY EAT YOU TOO SO BACK THE FUCK UP

I like how this very slowly gets notes like everyone once in a while a girl gets her enemy and then come back and reblogs this

thezefronposter:

effyeahfandoms:

tonystarktrek:

theangelshavetheearhat:

de4ctivate:

this might go over the heads of some of the kids on here. 

did you just

This is the greatest post I have ever seen because it is both a pun and a harsh truth.

IT’S TRANSPARENT

I showed this to my 11 year old brother and asked him if he knew what it was. He looked at it for a few seconds and said

"I dunno. a printer?"

a pRINTER

(Source: transparent-like-your-balls)

daleksinbras:

elanchana:

lunaleven:

palavenblues:

holy shit there is a name for it

I identify as neither ace nor aro and I get this sometimes. 

Oh my gosh there’s finally a word for “I don’t always feel it but when I do I don’t want it”!!!!

OH

(Source: asexualityresources)

sarcastic-snowflake:

So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months now, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 

WHAT ARE U MAJORING IN
Anonymous

bewbin:

It’s a business major called nonya

(Source: slapmytitties)